I spent a week with a friend who has dementia. She was a vibrant, energetic, super intelligent woman, who used to be a terrific teacher. And now she can’t remember for two minutes what is happening today, or where she put something, or what she just asked you. Whose is this? What is this for? What show are we watching?
It’s not just that I had to keep repeating. It is watching the tension, the energy of trying to figure things out, the fact that she knows she is losing it. She paces back and forth to check things, to read her journal where she has written everything that is happening.
I notice that the focus that she had in more lucid times is still the one that bleeds through now. What can I get you for supper? She was the nurturer, the caregiver, the feeder of all kinds of food. She lived loud and big.
I also have a childhood friend with dementia. She is in a care home. She used to obsess about the care of her mother and work. My recent call with her sounded like a business call, when her language made sense. Her mother is almost 100 years old and has dementia too. She is isolated in another care home and they have not seen each other in over a year.
Now I am back in my own space and I need to rest and integrate. What is this all about? How does it relate to society and spirit? Or does it?
Dementia Fears and Behaviours
Dementia can be explained by nerve and blood vessel damage, but that is only part of the story. What caused that deterioration on a thought or emotional level?
Some say it is because there is something we haven’t faced, some trauma perhaps. My dad developed Parkinson’s and dementia after being bullied at work and forced into early retirement.
Usually dementia occurs in the elderly. They have gone from a kind of power in the external world to retirement. The children may have left home. They may feel worthless, useless or have a fear of survival, financial or otherwise. They might fear being alone. So many elderly are alone and institutionalized. They may fear losing control and becoming dependent.
They may have had poor boundaries and did not develop their inner authority, so feel robbed of their time, energy and love. They can become like a child with a need to be looked after, a desire to go back to the past to be cared for and loved. It may also be a form of control – please take care of me.
Suppressed rage from the traumas and abuses they have endured, or from times they have not expressed their inner selves, may make its appearance. Emotions are now allowed. They don’t have to be “nice” anymore.
They fear what lies ahead – changes in health, transition and death.
They refuse to see the world as it is.
I could go through all the toxins in the world, in the food we eat, the air we breathe, the water we drink, but I am not going to do that. There’s lots of information available about our poisoned environment, the biology of the brain, the destruction of our blood vessels.
I cry for this too. I cry for what we have done to ourselves and the world.
We have also lost our roots, our ancestry, and have incorporated their wounds. What if we need to heal those wounds, those wounds of discrimination, slavery and external authority? What if all those wounds are global? We are all now becoming slaves to a minority of global rulers. It’s a mirror of our history.
We refuse to see this, the world as it really is. We feel helpless, angry and lost.
We are disconnected from our own power. Face coverings make us feel small, controlled and fearful of external danger. As these coverings also deprive of us of oxygen, there will likely be an epidemic of senility from dead brain cells and the emotions involved from muzzling our expression.
Joy is not allowed these days. The heart-filled life is being killed for a more synthetic, technical world. It interests me that one of the first things to go in dementia is the ability to operate anything technical.
How can we regain our inner power and authority?
We can reconnect with our heart and gut wisdom. Maybe we’re all losing our minds because we believe the “mind” is the main part of us, the ruler of us. We ignore our intuitions. We let others tell us who to be and what to do. We can’t think and we don’t deeply know our heart, so we are lost.
We can reconnect with our spirituality and divine source in our own way. We have handed that over to outside sources as well. And now, in our society, even that is being taken away – church is not allowed, singing is not allowed, communion with others and spirit is not allowed. Society cannot take away our personal connection to source, even if it takes away our communal gatherings.
What can we do for ourselves to lessen the likelihood of dementia?
Reconnect with ourselves and all that is.
Breathe, inspire, love. Meditate. Reconnect with spirit and nature. Remember we are carbon-based beings of the earth, not silica-based, technical ones. We are not robots. We are energy and frequency. The electromagnetic field of our heart is the largest energy field we have.
Take natural remedies, breathe in nature’s essences, plant your feet on the soil, eat as healthy as you can, and sit in silence. Listen. Learn natural ways to care for and heal yourself.
Remember to feel the love, sadness and joy of your deep and powerful heart connection.
I’m crying again. I just learned my friend has to go into a care home. What will become of her beautiful dogs? I don’t have the space for them, but I love them to bits. And will I ever see her again, what with the institutional, isolation regulations, and with her loss of self?
Maggie Marshall helps you in remembering your true nature of connection, healing and inner power. She guides you through spiritual, body awareness and shamanic experiences. She lives in Maple Creek, Saskatchewan, Canada near her beautiful tree and deer friends.